How To Make Yourself More Likeable

Maybe you weren’t born with a charismatic aura that draws people in… If you tend to be a bit shier than others, you get nervous to meet new people, or you worry that you don’t come of as endearing as you mean to be, this is ok – when you are establishing new connections, you need to remember that most people feel exactly the same as you. Establishing a positive, memorable first impression is at the core of developing lasting connections and strong rapports, so start small. Don’t let your anxiety get the best of you, as it’s usually all in your head, so stop thinking that people seem disinterested when you talk to them and that it seems as if people have tuned you out mentally. You don’t need to sulk in sadness about whether or not someone likes you. Instead, start winning people over and become a more confident version of yourself with a few of our tips. Create your own charisma!

Charisma, according to Kurt W. Mortensen, author of the book The Laws of Charisma, is defined as “the ability to easily build rapport, effectively influence others to your way of thinking, inspire them to achieve more, and in the process make an ally for life.” Make yourself more likeable by developing your own personal charisma and learn how to get more people to gravitate towards you.

When meeting new people, nonverbal cues are just as important as verbal ones. You need to focus on everything, even things that are unspoken. For example, the first handshake you share with a new contact is critical to the future of that relationship, or at the very least, your contact’s first impression of you. A bad handshake could keep you from building your rapport entirely. Make sure your handshakes are nice and firm and make the person you are interacting with feel more appreciated and comforted by your presence. Also, don’t forget about eye contact. Too little eye contact could make it seem as if you are leery or you are shy and unconfident while too much eye contact could make others nervous and uncomfortable. Maintain about 70% of eye contact and always make sure they are comfortable by checking to see how they engage or avoid your eye contact. Most importantly, don’t slack off on the smiling! The power that a genuine smile holds is monumental. Building connections could be made just by smiling at the right times. The most important takeaway here, though, is to never give what’s commonly referred to as a “dead fish” handshake – you will never be respected if you cannot give a firm, hearty grip that conveys both respect for yourself and those around you.

Another way you can create a more likable demeanor is to prove your credibility. To do this, have someone who is already established introduce you to your buyers and give you the credit for all of our past accomplishments. Doing this on your own could come off as haughty and cause people to turn away. However, being too good is also something people don’t love to hear; they like when you have a small weakness because it shows that you are honest and real, and ultimately human, too. Make sure that when you reveal a weakness, it doesn’t stop there, though. You must always turn that weakness into a strength and have a game plan for doing so.


Empathy is something that everyone will appreciate you having. You need to be able to listen and genuinely care for what your buyers have to say. To show empathy, you need to stop talking and start listening. Make sure that the feelings and emotions that are being laid out for you do not go unnoticed. Acknowledge their feelings and ask follow up questions. You need to be engaged and you also need to be considerate at all times; you’re leading your clients through what will undoubtedly be the biggest transaction of their life and they need to feel heard and supported by you.

To further build the rapport, tell a story and find commonalities with a wider range of people. People usually stay faithful to their own conclusions over yours, so using stories could become a great way to influence someone. Instead of making it feel like you are critiquing their every action, sharing a story that is similar to the situation they are in and can offer perspective on it. This can cause them to think twice, as it’s a real life, applied example instead of you merely telling them. Make sure the stories are not too fancy or extended; keep them simple.


Humor goes a long way when it comes to winning people over. Bring out the jokes and connect with clients on a more intimate level. By cracking some jokes and using humor, you can release the tension of the room and the clients will be more willing to open up and trust you. It also makes you a more memorable realtor. A lot of times, slightly self-deprecating jokes work best to get people to remember you and ease the room. Be okay with laughing at yourself and connect with others through that. If humor isn’t something you’re comfortable with, try to win them over with your joy and happiness. Be an intense optimist.

Using these tips will guarantee you a few more second glances, trusting nods and ultimately fruitful connections.